So maybe after a while, you lose the sense of wonder when you fall in love. It always comes back again, but never as intense as the first time. Maybe, at that moment, the quilt of our heart ripped and our soul was poured out at some point, but we can view ourselves as half empty or half full. Still, I mend the quilt back together again, every time. Because when you finish it and you see it, you are able to then wrap yourself in the warmth and goodness of your achievement once again. Thinking a bit more deeply recently has made me realize that most people take being alone for granted. Despite it being the most thought provoking state you can be in. Sometimes, enduring it is difficult. But be kind to your body and mind, and know that learning to love yourself is better than anything. Learning to be loved is easy for a lot of people, and for some it is hard to accept. Everybody is different. Everybody. Personally, I enjoy the calm that comes hand in hand with being alone. As an introvert, artist, and a Cancer, I thrive for peace and serenity. It's awful how often people rarely think about the future in realistic terms. On the contrary, I suppose there does have to be a sense of dreamlike wonder to what you imagine your future to hold for you, with reason. Everybody needs hope. I reject the flawed idea that everybody must be unhappy if they are alone. I love the time that my conscience and I spend together. Nobody really understands life in it's entirety. Nobody really, suddenly, honestly "gets it". Having hope where hope is lost is losing sight of your true self. It's losing sight of reality, and everything beautiful around you. You focus on the attachment, the perpetual wanting of a touch, a caress, a kiss, forgetting about everything else. I remember days when I cried endlessly over men. Mortal, living, breathing, learning men. I remember days when I failed to think of the boundaries I had made for myself. For a while, I burnt bridges to be in what most people recognize as love. I neglected friendships, family, and my own self to feel like I had something real. True love is an enigma to the world, however, love does truly exist. Learning how to effectively remain openly loving in a relationship is a puzzle, an endless craft, and an art to perfect. Same goes with all human interaction. It can be boring, embarrassing, terrifying, and unknown. Everybody is blind, and can't see exactly what induces certain emotions at certain times, so be gentle and nurture your fellowships. And remember, love does not judge. I have seen some significant ignorance, and nobody needs to sink that low. For themselves, or others.
In conclusion, existential ideas and discussions are quite uncommon in this modern society.
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"Each suburban wife struggles with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night- she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question-- 'Is this all?"
-- Betty Friedan (The Feminine Mystique)
Good art wounds as well as delights. It must, because our defenses against the truth are wound so tightly around us. But as art chips away at our defenses, it also opens us to healing potentialities that transcend intellectual games and ego-preserving strategies."
--Rollo May, 1985, My Quest for Beauty, p. 172
"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company"
--Jean-Paul Sartre
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